Turning dirty thirty is like showing up on a 7-year-old’s birthday with the disappointment of no birthday cake as you were responsible for collecting it. When your 30-year-old visions as a teenager burst open as your bubble slowly pops and realization hits. I’m just not there yet, where I pictured myself to be, at the turn of my third decade of life.
I know some people just don’t care. Turning dirty thirty here we come. I’ll say things like, ‘oh turning dirty thirty..’ They’ll say things like, ‘I’m thirty, flirty and thriving or ‘age is just a number. How old do you feel? You’re only as old as you feel, you know?’ Yes, I know, I’m turning dirty thirty. I’ve heard it all before but I’m still not there, yet. Maybe because I suffer from anxiety. I mean I don’t want to be one of those people that use anxiety as an excuse but it’s there, at the back of my mind.
To top it all off, you’ll probably think I’m bat crazy when I say my ageing anxiety has officially set in. Yes, ageing anxiety. This added anxiety about ageing got some thinking I’m vain. But it’s deeper than your hair turning grey and brittle bones slowly decaying. It’s about independence, survival, abundance, freedom, and understanding of the way things are. You are now officially adulting, and if you’re not quite there yet. I feel you.
I don’t know about you guys but I feel old. The truth is, I’m not sure if it’s the baby that has aged me 10 years or if this is what thirty really feels like. I’m thirty, I’m a mom and I feel 40. Undoubtedly my wrinkles are getting bigger and bolder. In addition, my hair is getting finer. Above all, little miss adventurous is full of complaints. My skin feels like a stretched out piece of leather, god bless my soul for breastfeeding for over a year. Honestly, I constantly feel under the weather. Dirty thirty, time to pull up my socks and fasten my seatbelt because the corona wave, having a baby and coming of age has gravelly aged me into my graceful thirties.
This question kills me. Yet, it is such an essential question. Where do you see yourself in 10 years time? My 20-year-old self never imagined that I would be married and with child by the age of dirty thirty. That sounds too boring for me. Travel the world, set your soul on fire. You only have one life to live. So live it up. At least that’s where I envisioned myself ten years ago. But the truth is that life is boring. Unless you make it all that your heart set out to do. Whatever that is for you. Whether it is settling down or living it up. As long as your happy at the end of the day. Nothing else really matters. Your thirty now. Time to stay positive and commit to the life you love to live.
If you’re feeling like this post heightened your anxiety about ageing, I’m sorry but it’s the truth. Try zen out to some meditation music